Last Sunday, me and my parents talked in a Parenting Seminar in Febias which is a Bible College in Valenzuela City. Of course I didn’t talk about parenting, but I talked about how they brought me up, focusing on how our communication in the house made me what I am today.
We are so blessed to have parents like papa and mama. Personally, I thank God for them for how they brought us up–gwapo, confident, God-fearing.
I am the youngest of us three, bunso, malambing, makulit, magulo. But my parents had their ways of reaching out and communicating with the three of us. Si kuya na tahimik at malalim magisip ay tinatapatan nila papa and mama ng seryosong usapan na wala masyadong jokes, si ate na artsy, outgoing, at minsan sensitive ay iba din ang approach nila. Ako na ubod ng bait, at ubod ng gwapo ay, malamang, ibang iba.
When I was growing up, they taught me to be an achiever. I was taught to do everything with excellence. I was taught to be always number 1. So nung grade 1 ako, well hanggang grade 6, si mama lagi magrereview sakin pag may periodical exam. Hindi ko lang namemorize ang mga date kung kailan nag-landing si Magellan sa Pilipinas, hindi ko lang nalaman na mali ang tinuturo ng math teacher ko tungkol sa roman numerals, hindi lang ako top 1 from grade 1-6 dahil sa support nila kundi mabilis kong nalaman kung ano talaga ang gusto ko sa buhay.
Kaya nung highschool ako, at sobrang dami kong competition na nasalihan, sinuportahan nila ako sa lahat ng competition ko. When I was in 1st year, my first competition was the National Students Convention which was held in Marikina. Kahit na kakagaling lang sa hospital ni mama, they went to the competitions to watch me. 3rd year highschool naman in Baguio, they went naman to Baguio City to watch me. And my last national competition which was in Cebu, they also went there to watch and support me. Hindi lang musical competition ang sinalihan ko, may writing, may declamation, may photography din–kung kailan film pa ang ginagamit, at 400php ang isang roll ng film, well, they still supported me. I won first place in that. So when I went into college in UP, I know what I wanted. They supported all my interests. Unfortunately, music was what I love to do the most, kaya ngayon, isa po ako sa mga nagugutom na musikero sa Pilipinas. Hehe.
Sa college ibang level na. I excelled a lot as a composition major in the UP college of music. University Scholar akong consistent, laging nag-aabroad for a conference or competition. At alam kong sabik din sila for any information galing sakin dahil nauuna pa mama ko magpost sa Facebook ng status tungkol sa mga magandang nangyayari sa kin. Hehe.
My most recent one was the Young Composers Competition of Southeast Asia in which I won the grand prize. Nung nag-skype kami after the awarding, si mama umiyak, ako hindi. Sinabi ko pa nga, ‘ma, please, ako magpopost!’ Hehe. And they were so proud of me. That makes me happy.
So going back to communication, I would just want to point out a few things based on my story.
1. Communication is not just what you say with your words, but what you say with your eyes, your facial expressions, your touch, your hug, your overall appearance, your eagerness, your kasabikan for a story, your time. There is more than just words.
2. Proper communication made me open up more to my parents, hearing their comments and suggestions, doing it, and achieving in life.
3. They respect who I am, not just me respecting what they want or how they want me to be. In that way, I respect them more.
4. My communication with them opened up my communication with God. They are my example of how and who God is.
My sister just got married last night (Saturday). I’m expected to be next. Pero paano ko itataguyod ang aking pamilya? Personnally, gusto ko ding palakihin ang mga anak ko in an environment the same way kung saan ako lumaki–it is an environment full of openness, full of love, full of sincerity, isang pamilyang may damdamin at di lang basta sumusunod sa rules ng isang librong nabasa mo sa National Bookstore, although baka makatulong, but how the Bible says it to be, and also how my magiging anak’s personality would be.
I would like to say again that communication makes a person open–open to criticism, open to change, open to sharing emotions and more. So for the parents here, please, please open the lines of communication to the children. Ask them how they are. Ask them about school. Kung in a relationship, ask them kung may pang-date. Tpos sabihin mo nalang na magtrabaho ka para sa pan-date mo. For the youth here, wag kayong mahiya. Magkwento, magsalita, umiyak, magtanong sa inyong mga magulang. Kung kaka-break mo lang sa girlfriend mo, sabihin mo. Kung after one week, may girlfriend na ulit, sabihin mo uli. Kung after one week, break nanaman, parents, batukan nyo na! Sa mga youth pa din, kung nagpapaturo nanay o tatay mo sa facebook o twitter, turuan mo. Pero wag masyado para di na madaming tanong. Tapos lagi niyong papaalala ung mga nakakalimutan nila. Kasi di na sila bumabata. Hindi sila pwedeng kabitan ng USB flash disk para madagdagan memory nila. Watch TV together. Watch movies together. Eat out together. Make unplanned vacations together. Ask them kung pano manligaw. Ask them pano magluto. Talk to them when your happy. Talk to them when your sad. Talk them about your future. Talk to them about God. But never talk to them about their insurance. Hehe. Just keep the communication lines open!
Let me start and end my talk by saying that kaming magkakapatid are blessed to have papa and mama as our parents. So as I say goodbye and sing this song, always remember, the keyword is LOVE.